How Emotional Intelligence Makes Life Easier or "Why Should I Care?"

What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes how well we take care of or manage ourselves in the world. It is part of a newer movement in psychology that speaks to how we do what we do and helps us to understand how we can get along better, by understanding ourselves better.

Our Emotions
Most families and cultures have discouraged us from looking at our emotions—or letting us experience them fully. Our emotions and bodily sensations have specific purposes that we often overlook. Think of them as signals to guide our actions. Each emotion has a role and a distinct biological signature. Anger: brings blood to the hands; an increase in heart rate; and adrenaline to increase strength—you are ready to go. Fear: brings blood to the larger muscles (thighs) and hormones to put your body on alert—you are ready to run. Happiness: encourages energy body fluidity; and the brain's inhibition of negative feelings—you can rest. Surprise: raises the eyebrows, allowing a wider field of vision and activating the third eye. See how this works?

We are not our emotions, although we tend to identify with them. “That guy is angry all the time.” “I'm always depressed.” We may have strong emotions, but we always have the capacity to make choices, to be more informed and to direct our actions. We are not our behaviors.

When we are tasked with a demanding project or are called to multi-task to the edge of our comfort zone, our emotions and the impulses from our body help us find the balance to both meet our basic needs and to forge ahead. In this way, we are functioning better all around. And then we can actually ENJOY the process rather than feeling bound to it.

Why Should I CARE About Empathy?
We all have the capacity to feel all feelings. This enables us to “care” about others' feelings. It's why we cry at a movie. When we open our hearts to others, we are opening it to ourselves. We literally benefit every time we give to another. The neural impulses of our emotions are energy and we are energized when that energy is shared and exchanged unconditionally.

Men and women differ in the way they manage their feelings in the world. Some differences are cultural (learned) and some are biological (inherent). In the west, girls have traditionally been taught to play games that are cooperative or encourage connectedness. In these games, if someone gets hurt, the game stops! Boys typically have been brought up with competitive games, which showcase their autonomy and drive. In these games, if someone gets hurt, people yell, “Get out of the way!” Research shows that women are in fact capable of managing more emotions before feeling “flooded” by them.

A Lesson in Managing My Emotions
“Well, I'm trying to get this project done. But I feel too ----- to do it.” EI tells us that the best way to shift our mood is to distract ourselves. Learn what works best for you. A talk with a friend, a movie, a comfort food, a hot bath, a workout, journaling...take care of yourself—take a vacation from yourself! And then you can get back in the flow. Sadness is the #1 emotion people want to shake; anger is the most challenging. But you can do it! Observe yourself and remind yourself what works for you. (reference Daniel Goleman).

The Truth is -Right Here-

"You can't handle the truth."

If by that you mean with my hands, then maybe you're right.

Star-beings or aliens. How do we know they're out there, without the Dale Coopers and Fox Mulders?

Well, previous to my going public with my sharing my own experiences (reference my last blog post, Spiritual Mentorship), I didn't have a lot to work with.

So, I would say two things: 1) Christopher Walken, 2) Insects.

About Insects
The last place I lived in NJ, outside of Montclair, I noticed a praying mantis on the tree stump in front of the house. At first, I didn't think much about it, but after three days of being in the same place, I felt I needed to go over and have a visit.

When I got close and knelt down, I had the experience of seeing something for the first time. I felt like I was intruding on someone. It was not green, it was silver. Its color made its head look like a space helmet. It was doing T'ai Chi.

Sidebar:
I'm not kidding. I studied Chen style T'ai Chi Ch'uan, the original style, which dates back to the 17th century, with Master Guang Yi Ren at the time. Master Ren is the senior disciple of the 19th generation standard bearer of the Chen family style. Reference this video of Master Ren, apparently, rather than pining for me, he has taken up with another musician student. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72yaPmAH3uw)

The praying mantis (PM) looked over at me in mid-posture. I was definitely intruding. She said something telepathically but I don't know what.

Looking at this intelligent creature in mid-pose, holding court for three day in my front yard, it suddenly became very clear that I was in the presence of a being with a consciousness I knew nothing about. I felt humbled and almost embarrassed to be a human kicking around on my lawn without much of a clue.

I telepathically told her that I honored whoever she was and whyever she was there. I asked if she was a space traveler. Her stillness became almost intimidating if I read into it. Maybe she was a very high being doing lightwork to save us all. She responded by continuing her T'ai Chi form, while keeping an eye on me. She was gone the next day. Absolutely true.

Who Are They
I left NJ over 15 years ago and one of the many remarkable things about life in the desert is that I continue to see species of insects I've never seen before. A few weeks ago, I saw three in one day.

Since that meeting in my yard with that astronaut from another dimension, I always wonder what each of them carries as their unique special power. I mean on that scale in this world, you have to have to be able to attack or create aversion somehow! So I ask them: do you fly, hop, spit, sting, bite, explode, glow, scream or...just watch me?

And if the insects don't expand your consciousness, watch that NOVA doc on cuttlefish. We are not all from the same planet.

Blessings & Cheers,
Matthew

Spiritual Mentorship (Whatever -that- is)

A Client asked me when and how it was I first had "contact" with my spirit guides. So I talked about how, not much longer after teaching myself guitar and writing my first "real" songs, I began having experiences where words and music came right through--in the time it took me to write it all down without stopping.

I also talked about how, during that same period, through trial and error, I taught myself to shamanic journey or to visit higher dimensions and/or travel in my light body or by consciousness alone (temporarily leaving my physical body). In this way, I met beings who were definitely not me and had experiences which were clearly not of our wake or dream state.

I then jumped twenty years ahead--over a hundred great tangents--to say that the channeling classes, which Emily Bowe teaches (reference IHI website page http://indigohealinginstitute.org/classes.html) pushed me to open to connecting with my guides for other people--and to open to my healing gifts. I had never even considered that before!

My client said, "Oh, so it took that long to open to channeling," [while he was feeling impatient with his own timeline].

Then it occurred to me, that in our traditional, linear, 3rd dimensional thinking, it's supposed to take twenty years of a discipline to be able to do or know anything masterful or esoteric, whether martial arts (reference my upcoming blog post, "The Truth is Right Here") or religion or stage performance. They don't even teach you the good stuff until you've been around half a lifetime and given blood.

Sure, there's logic in these traditions, and maybe this has saved us from world domination, but the energy is different now. Maybe it took twenty years to ensure the student was serious; and could repeat the oral tradition accurately; and wouldn't betray the teacher; and it may have taken twenty years for the student to overcome or break through his birth-zeitgeist consciousness to be able to live the way or energy of the teaching.

The fact is that at this time the energies are such that time, the 4th dimension, can collapse. You can get there from here, folks, truly. The veils are within everyone's reach.

In this way, many of these old traditions, whose original intent or function was to teach and uplift, need to be looked at closely by the student. Most of the teachers are holding to the multi-thousand year old policies about who can join the club and when. This is true in all cultures, religions and disciplines.

The "real deal" teachers will welcome any real student with open arms, because their hearts are open to the spirit of their tradition. And who's got time to wait to connect?

Namaste,
Matthew

Namaste Today

Namaste, Brothers & Sisters,

This is an exciting time and a challenging one. Time is speeding up and many of us are discovering that connection--with our deeper and higher selves and with extended family/ community--is the One path forward. Moving forward. 

The inertia of old cultural paradigm pushes against this, but it is breaking down. And as it gets easier, as we move toward critical mass, we find that the challenges become bigger, but also that we are expanding and meeting them. 

There are many tools in our toolbox and we have to take them out and play with them. See what they do. Sometimes I realize I need a metric, but I'm holding a Phillips. 

We are shifting to 5th dimensional realities from 3rd. The problems look different, but so do the solutions. And with our expanded awareness, we begin to see patterns. The problem contains the key to the solution. The right question will bring us the answer we need. And it's more fun and light when we surrender to [insert conception of highest good] and see it as an adventure.

2012 (or more bigger change) is less than a few years out and its rumblings can be felt in our bodies, our relationships and changes in all the systems around us--natural and human made. The Hopi Prophecy, the Mayan calendar and other ancient cultural traditions have very clearly spoken about the time we are in now. This is not to create a heavy, ominous tone, but to point toward the beautiful and powerful gifts that have been lovingly passed to us, through human hands and voices and which spirit offers us now, to affirm our places in our journeys and to light our way. 

We are not alone by any means. And I am here and you are here and we are here and we are all together. 

Yours in Spirit, Blessings,

Matthew Blank